Have you ever been in the position of having a guy you like (as a friend and nothing else) propose to you?
Sometimes he wouldn’t even have to tell you but you’ll be able to read his actions and expressions to know that he’s going to pop the question [especially when you wish your dream man was rather the one doing the popping of the question!].
Either way as soon as that happens, the first thing that runs through your mind is “how do I let him down gently?.”
You could find yourself either at a loss for words or say something that’s going to make him so self-conscious that he might not want to be friends again.
Worse he could be your boss or colleague. How do you let him down gently and still have a great working relationship together?
Or he’s in the same group or association with you?
He could be a neighbour, your brother or sister’s friend, someone that you see a lot often and wouldn’t want to make things awkward between you.
Well if you find yourself in that situation then these tips could make sure that you still stay friends.
Say “I love you too.”
Did you shout? Don’t.
It sounds crazy I know but read on and you’ll know the reason why these words work like magic [sometimes]. As soon as he pops the question say ‘I love you too’ and go on about how you’ve made a solemn promise to open your heart to love all your friends unreservedly.
After that give a time frame where you told an elderly person both of you know, how much you loved them and they were so happy.
And then thank him with all your heart for being such a good friend.
And then if you have someone in your life you can tell him about how you’ve told your man to be loving with his friends.
You would have talked a lot by this time but without letting him say anything further he’ll realize immediately that you see him in a whole different light and decide not to go on further.
Use the ‘I you don’t want to lose your friendship’ trick
Say the following in your own words, “you can’t imagine how flattered I am that you’re interested in me. This means that I’m very important to you but I don’t feel the same way. I’m really worried because I don’t want to lose your friendship. I’d really like it we could still be friends and go on with things the way we usually do”
Your friends shouldn’t know
Letting your friends know about this could make him more insecure. No man likes it when people look down on him due to him expressing his feelings. It’s an ego thing.
Don’t lead him on
Some ladies might feel uncertain on how to go about it and perhaps arrange a date in order to reject him.
So this guy will arrange a date or get a place for the two of you to go. He could wait for this day so convinced that you were finally his.
Put yourself in his shoes and imagine how he’ll feel when instead of that you tell him that you never loved him. He could be so hurt that recovering from that could be enough to break up your friendship forever. Telling him no the very minute he proposes is the best thing for both of you
And another no-no is sympathy dating.
Perhaps you’ve tried all these and he’s still being persistent.
Well it’s a guy thing, sometimes they deliberately refuse to accept the rejection and could tell you they are taking you out and walk away so you have no other course than to go out with them.
Well sister, it’s time to remind them that their mother who told them what to do when they were kids is also a woman just as you are. Call him back in a no nonsense tone and repeat your words again.
After a great date
Perhaps you went out with him on a date thinking he could be your man. But then you realize that there’s no spark, no zing, nothing. But unfortunately, both of you are in two different zones. He obviously more than likes you and can’t see that you’re don’t.
That feels weird sometimes doesn’t it?
But then it begins to become tiresome and annoying when he calls, texts and visits and fails to get the hint from your not so enthusiastic responses. And you still want to be friends with him?
Well here’s my advice: tell it to him straight. That you’d thought he was the man for you, well you had a great time but unfortunately you’re not interested. Don’t wait around and leave.
The next day send him a thank you text for a great time. He’d be miffed and decide not to text back for some time but he definitely will. With that you might have made him mad, but it will be only for a while then they’ll actually respect you for having told them the truth
Don’t make it personal
Yes you don’t like him that way perhaps because of something he did or said but you shouldn’t tell him.
It’s not necessary.
The worst thing would be to tell him how unsure you were over a period when you realized his feelings for you. Just be straight up and say your goodbyes.
The following are a no-no
– Don’t hook him up with a friend
– Don’t let your friend, boyfriend or relative talk to him
– Don’t ignore him