Love and cheating have become one of the greatest enemies in this 21st century, and it’s not surprising most people are in critical mental and emotional situation affecting the wellbeing of their health. Been loved is the happiest thing to ever happen to an individual, knowing someone cares and think about you, make you feel you are the only living creature God created on the sixth day of creation.
One of the controversial conversations in our relationship world currently is “Emotional Cheating”. Some believe there’s nothing like emotional cheating since you have to stay faithful to your partner and you have not defiled your marital or relationship bed, then you are not cheating in your relationship perhaps we have forgotten there’s something called “EMOTIONAL CONNECTION”. I’m not going to talk about extramarital/relationship sex affairs but rather how we make our partners go through emotional trauma when we start trusting others instead of them.
An emotional affair generally starts innocently enough as friendship. Through investing emotional energy and time with one another outside the marital relationship, the former platonic friendship can begin to form a strong emotional bond which hurts the intimacy of the spousal relationship.
While there are those who believe that an emotional affair is harmless, most marriage experts view an emotional affair as cheating without having a sexual relationship.
Emotional affairs are often gateway affairs leading to full-blown sexual infidelity. About half of such emotional involvements do eventually turn into full-blown affairs, sex and all.
What we think of and do with our thoughts are very powerful and have a significant effect on the people around us. A love connection is always between two souls, that’s why immediately you start thinking about your partner, you might receive a call or message or any information from him/her, this should give you a clue of soul connection.
Most of us are cheating in our marriages but we don’t even know we are cheating and our partners are worried, they are emotionally broken but they cannot also voice out because there’s no sexual intimacy involved, besides the funny thing is that, the person you might be emotionally cheating with too, will not even know both of you are gradually destroying your marriages /relationships. However, one will ask, how will I know I’m cheating on my partner emotionally; good! These are some of the things we unintentionally do.
Who is the first person you share your good or bad news with? Guess you are confused now, ideally, the first person you should share your good or bad news should have been your partner but that is not so in your current situation. Our soulmates are the people we should share our news with but immediately you start entrusting your everything with a certain person then gradually you are losing your connection with your partner.
Who is that particular person you are hiding from your partner? You see, immediately your partner calls you for discussion, your heartbeats pump up? This should prompt you that, you are doing something which is not morally right. Susan Winter tells Elite Daily, “When the partner is hiding something from you, there’s a problem,” Winter explains. “It means that your mate is fearing your reaction. Hiding information is a protective move. Either your partner fears your reactivity, or they’ve done something so horrific that you’ll (rightly) be upset.”. This assertion by Winter says everything, you are hiding your supposed good friend because you are scared of your lover’s reaction.
How have you saved that particular person contact? I remembered when my cousin’s girlfriend changed her ex name after my cousin complained she’s spending much time with her ex, how disappointed he was when he found what his girlfriend had done, he was emotionally dejected. I can say from that day, his trust for his girlfriend definitely dropped till the relationship hit the rock.
Who do you share your happy or sad moments with?
Ask yourself, how will you feel if your spouse also has that special person he/she spends all his/her quality time with, guess you see how confused you will be? What really spice relationships or marriages is when your partner sits you down or give you a call seeking your ideas on things they are about to embark or calls you to share their enjoyable moments with you. It makes you feel special and it makes you feel that you are their utmost priority in decision making. This is why sharing your good or bad moments with one particular person first before your spouse depicts that you are treading on a dangerous path that can create emotional distance between you and your spouse.
How frequently do you chat?
Though you have not proposed to such a friend or even had any sexual intimacy with that your BESTIE but such a friend has taken you from your partner emotionally, you are gradually disconnecting yourself from your partner. Marriage/relationship is always built on trust, love and understanding. If you love and trust your partner, you will always seek their opinions on your adventures but immediately you start sharing all your thoughts with a certain person regularly, then you are gradually uplifting your partner’s responsibilities to an intruder.
Furthermore, have you thought of how your bestie have taken you from your partner?
Hmmm, it’s time we start asking ourselves the things making our partners uncomfortable.
However, some will try to justify their unknown irresponsible action on the basis that, their partners are not good in communication, ooh yes, some do not have good friendship style in their relationship, on the other hand, there is a saying that, ‘we grow in love but we don’t fall in love’.
Your partner might not be a good communicator but as you have vow or decided to be with such a person, you must try to build that communication style with your partner. How long can you keep in touch with your suppose BESTIES, is better you build your marriage/relationship now before time catches up with you.
Am leaving you with this lyrics portion form Ed Sheeran “DIVE’” song
So don’t call me baby
Unless you mean it’
Don’t tell me you need me
If you don’t believe it
Let me know the truth
Before I dive right into you
Efo Qweku Apedzego writes;
Efo Qweku Apedzego